Why Conrad Ricamora is having the best time of his life (2025)

He was playing Ninoy Aquino the first time we saw him off-Broadway—in the 2013 run of David Byrne and Fatboy Slim’s Imelda Marcos musical “Here Lies Love” at the Public Theater in New York.

But while Conrad Ricamora continues to dabble in theater—he also played Lun Tha in “The King and I,” Seymour Krelborn in “Little Shop of Horrors” and, most recently, Abraham Lincoln” in “Oh, Mary!”—the 45-year-old Filipino-American actor has also impressed viewers in far-reaching, “more mainstream” pursuits, like portraying computer whiz Oliver Hampton in the TV series “How to Get Away with Murder,” starring Viola Davis.

Conrad’s latest project is Hulu’s acclaimed eight-part comedy series “How to Die Alone” (88 percent on Rotten Tomatoes), which began streaming last Sept. 13 on Disney+.

The show follows Melissa Jackson (Natasha Rothwell, who also created the show), a fat, broke and African-American JFK airport employee who’s afraid of flying. Mel “doesn’t feel seen” enough and just keeps “hitting walls after walls.”

Mel says she’s tired of waiting for her life to start. But fate has been dealing her one low blow after another: Her ex-boyfriend Alex (Jocko Sims) is set to marry his lovely new girlfriend in two months’ time. Then, Mel finds herself spending her 35th birthday alone when her gay best friend, Rory Cohen (Conrad), deserts her in favor of a hot date with a stranger (Glenn Fleary).

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As if that isn’t bad enough, Mel dies temporarily—for almost three minutes—after a new DIY cabinet falls on her while she chokes on her favorite food the same day she receives the wedding invitation from the only man she’s ever had genuine feelings for. What to do?

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As her sick geriatric friend Elise reminds her, “You can’t let fear stop you from taking off!”

“I think what viewers can take away from a show called ‘How to Die Alone’ is to see a person’s journey through Melissa’s own self-discovery,” said Conrad when we spoke to him in a one-on-one interview last Saturday. “This is something that Natasha has said: You can’t control whether you’re going to die alone, but you can control whether you’re lonely inside or not—and that begins with having a good relationship with yourself.

“If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, then you aren’t going to be surrounded by people and friendships and a career that feel authentic and genuine and loving. So throughout the series, we show how important it is to love yourself first and foremost, and then you can build the relationships that you need in your life.”

The rest of our Q&A with Conrad:

I love the banter between the characters in the show. But knowing only too well that comedy is such a tricky thing to execute, could you share with us how much of it is improvised?

What ends up onscreen depends on what happens in the editing room. But I would say that we always do exactly what is written. Then, we do two or three takes where we get to improvise some lines and just keep playing off of each other. It really depends on who you’re playing in the scene with.

With Natasha, she comes from an improv background … from sketch comedy. So she’s the best partner to play with in that situation, because she can just keep going—which also inspires her scene partner to keep going. You know, I grew up playing tennis, and it’s just like having a great tennis player across you.

This might be right up your alley because of your degree in psychology. It’s fascinating to watch the relationship that we see between Rory and Mel unravel, but they’re obviously flawed, imperfect individuals. Can you weigh in on their relationship?

Yeah, I like that Natasha has written a relationship between two really flawed individuals. Yes, it’s messy, but friendships, in my experience, are messy, especially when you’re still figuring everything out in your life, when you’re single, when you have yet to figure out your career path. Rory and Natasha’s characters are both in those situations.

Life can be really messy with your friends when you’re still trying to navigate your romantic relationships, with your friendships and career as well. A lot of times, the compromises that you make are detrimental to those relationships. But even though it’s messy, it’s a beautiful thing to explore.

How similar are you to your character Rory?

Well, I’m very different from him in terms of temperament … I’m actually much more reserved. I am much more of an introvert than Rory is. But it’s always fun to explore that side of yourself as an actor.

I played Oliver for six years in “How to Get Away with Murder,” and Oliver was so anxious and shy and scared of the world. On the other hand, Rory just lives his life out loud, unapologetically. And so, it’s nice to explore that side of who I am.

But I also relate to Rory. You know, in my 20s, I had no idea what I was doing with my life (laughs), and so playing him definitely makes me look back. I like playing Rory because I get to remember those times in my life when I was just bumping up against the world. I was making so many mistakes and not being a very good friend or a responsible person. Yeah, it reminds me of being in my 20s, right after graduating from college.

You play very diverse characters—from Ninoy Aquino and Oliver Hampton to Abraham Lincoln and now Rory. Which of these characters are closest to your personality and who among them did you find most challenging to bring to life?

That’s the thing. I actually find characters that are farthest away from me the easiest to portray. That way, I get to dive into something that’s fun to play … like somebody who’s extremely different from who you are. It’s the kind of joy that I find that’s so delicious as an actor, and the challenge, so exciting.

But I would say I’m a cross between Ninoy and Oliver … that’s kind of where I am as Conrad. I live in that realm. So, playing Rory right now and Abraham Lincoln onstage is just [a thrill], I’m having the best time of my life with these two characters, because they’re very different from who I am in real life.